My boyfriend just left for basic today and I miss him already but am so proud of what he's doing. I was wondering if you had any advice for a new military girlfriend?
I do have some advice that some people have found helpful:
- It’s okay to cry. A lot of people think that the only way to get through something such as distance you have to be strong at all times, but this is not true. If you get sad and down don’t feel ashamed. It is completely normal to feel that way and it’s just a sign that you truly care about this person. I have always felt that it is in our moments of weakness that we find the strength to keep going. Take your time and be upset then, when you start to feel ready, pick yourself up as best you can and do what needs to be done.
- Adapt to change. There will be times where the two of you will have plans to Skype or talk or something and something will happen to were they will be unable to contact you. When this happens try to keep in mind that it is not always their fault that this is happening and that they want to talk to you just as much as you do them. Take your time and be down about what happened, then set a date to try again and look forward to the next time you can have some contact.
- You two are a team. If something is bothering you about how things are going in the relationship talk to your SO about it. The only way the two of you are going to be able to solve any problems is if the two of you are both aware that there is in fact an issue. The more honest you two are with each other the easier it will be to solve small problems before they become larger issues.
- Be aware of others. Although some people may seem supportive of your relationship in the beginning some may try and persuade you to end it because you have moments of loneliness or issues because of the distance. When this happens consider what they say, but don’t weigh your decisions too heavily on them. The only people who have any say in your relationship is you are your SO, no one else.
- Keep yourself busy. School and work are excellent ways to keep yourself distracted while your loved one is away. They take up a larger portion of your time and they are also extremely productive. Remember, just because they are gone does not mean that your life is on hold.
- This type of relationship is not for everyone. Long distance relationships and military relationships can be difficult and cause stresses that not everyone can handle. If you are in a relationship with someone and the distance or something else is too much for you there is absolutely no shame in ending things. However, when you start to feel this way please contact me or someone on the directory and take some time to decide if it is a bad day or you really do want to end things. After all, it is better to end things when you know for sure than to drag things out and cause false hope.
If you ever want to talk or have any questions I am always here for you.